Forced March #1
Jan. 27th, 2004 07:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
loosechanjOne of the things which defines "professional" in my mind is the ability to pull something off regardless of circumstances. Hence, this being a "journal", I feel the need for a forced march of sorts. Yesterday was spent recovering from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rockit_grl's party, the fuzzy details of which are related below. The question now is what to do with today, Tuesday, Jan 27 2004. I don't have any jobs lined up. I do have food shopping to do, and even have some money to do it with. But that's not why I sat down here, to go over mundane stuff like keeping the larder full. Probably it's rockit_grl's saying my party memoirs were really good that makes me want to write, instead of throwing out freak show acts.
One thing that sort of bothered me at the party was the large amount of seemingly successful young (to me anyway) people there. I don't consider myself a success by any means, I've got a 2 year degree in nothing, and had one class to go before getting some sort of 'networking' degree. I own my dirt condo, so I can get by on just doing odd jobs and such, removing viruses and replacing hard drives.
But, again, that's not what I want to talk about this morning. No, I want to go way back, to mid-2000. I was trying to solve a problem with a user who needed access to a Samba share. So while I'm working, the father of a girl I had a crush on in Junior high comes up and starts chatting with the people. I don't join in, I'm just the computer monkey anyhow, but I do listen. The girl's father is positively gushing with pride. Good reason too, he's telling the story of how his daughter, my long lost crush, had her hands inside a baby, doing things I wish I could do with a car. Now that hit me like a salmon wrapped round a large gold brick and hurled at my head by [insert sports figure of heroic purportions here]. And it made me wonder. Where would I have been at that moment if anyone had showed the kind of love and pride in me that was evident in his story? This girl was the same age as me, remember. I'm old enough to be a surgeon, if I had shown the drive and ambition. (Well, except for the fact that I know I don't have a lick of talent for that sort of job.) But it's tough when you've always been told everything was hard, implying you are likely to fail.
Praise has always been something which avoided me. I can literally, and I will, list just about every moment in my life when someone
gave me "a boost".
Mr [forget the name]: Man, you did a bang up job on that floor. (Mop & wax.)
Rodney, a fellow stockman: I think you're doing a fine job.
Mr. Williams, store manager: I think we'll teach you how to order, and put you in charge of the dairy. Do you think you can do it? (and without waiting for me to answer) Pppththpt! I know you can do it, the question is do you want to?
Alfie, a fellow tech: And man are you good with computers
That about it.
To this day I wonder what my life would be like now if I'd had people who cared and supported me. And all I can be sure of is that I would not be here.
rockit_grl's party, the fuzzy details of which are related below. The question now is what to do with today, Tuesday, Jan 27 2004. I don't have any jobs lined up. I do have food shopping to do, and even have some money to do it with. But that's not why I sat down here, to go over mundane stuff like keeping the larder full. Probably it's rockit_grl's saying my party memoirs were really good that makes me want to write, instead of throwing out freak show acts.One thing that sort of bothered me at the party was the large amount of seemingly successful young (to me anyway) people there. I don't consider myself a success by any means, I've got a 2 year degree in nothing, and had one class to go before getting some sort of 'networking' degree. I own my dirt condo, so I can get by on just doing odd jobs and such, removing viruses and replacing hard drives.
But, again, that's not what I want to talk about this morning. No, I want to go way back, to mid-2000. I was trying to solve a problem with a user who needed access to a Samba share. So while I'm working, the father of a girl I had a crush on in Junior high comes up and starts chatting with the people. I don't join in, I'm just the computer monkey anyhow, but I do listen. The girl's father is positively gushing with pride. Good reason too, he's telling the story of how his daughter, my long lost crush, had her hands inside a baby, doing things I wish I could do with a car. Now that hit me like a salmon wrapped round a large gold brick and hurled at my head by [insert sports figure of heroic purportions here]. And it made me wonder. Where would I have been at that moment if anyone had showed the kind of love and pride in me that was evident in his story? This girl was the same age as me, remember. I'm old enough to be a surgeon, if I had shown the drive and ambition. (Well, except for the fact that I know I don't have a lick of talent for that sort of job.) But it's tough when you've always been told everything was hard, implying you are likely to fail.
Praise has always been something which avoided me. I can literally, and I will, list just about every moment in my life when someone
gave me "a boost".
Mr [forget the name]: Man, you did a bang up job on that floor. (Mop & wax.)
Rodney, a fellow stockman: I think you're doing a fine job.
Mr. Williams, store manager: I think we'll teach you how to order, and put you in charge of the dairy. Do you think you can do it? (and without waiting for me to answer) Pppththpt! I know you can do it, the question is do you want to?
Alfie, a fellow tech: And man are you good with computers
That about it.
To this day I wonder what my life would be like now if I'd had people who cared and supported me. And all I can be sure of is that I would not be here.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-01-27 08:21 pm (UTC)So then you've still got time to get whatever success you want. You just need to figure out what you would consider success. Then make a plan to get there.
Trust me. It's part of my business to help people figure this out.
Indeed
Date: 2004-01-28 12:02 am (UTC)Now here's a conunundrum. My mom wants me to take this course on "aerospace technology" or some such. But it's only a 2 year degree, and I *have* one, almost two of those. So it feels like I'd be treading water. OTOH, if you get into the program you've got a job coming. So I'm trying to sort that out in my head.
I'm guessing you found me on either
Re: Indeed
Date: 2004-01-28 12:28 am (UTC)Do you want a job at the Space Center because you like it? Or because it's easy to get and you know you can do it?
I've talked myself into doing so many things in life because they were "easy" or "safe" and they have always left me worse in the long run.
My suggestion is head toward whatever excites you and scares you at the same time.
(Compromise can work, too. Maybe you could work at the Space Center and go to school.)
Re: Indeed
Date: 2004-01-28 02:52 am (UTC)Re: Indeed
Date: 2004-01-28 03:49 am (UTC)